I don't fucking know.

So go fuck yourself.

30 notes

Being a Parent at a Restaurant

restaurant-rants:

Your list of shit to do in a restaurant includes:

  • taking your kid outside when they’re screaming bloody murder
  • keeping them in their chair because, as much as you would like us to believe otherwise, you CAN control your kids and it IS possible to tell them to sit the fuck down or else they…

20 notes

Dear Teenagers

nosleeptilbushwick:

Here’s a piece of wisdom from someone in the food service industry:

If you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to eat out.
If you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to order in.

IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO TIP, YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO HAVE SOMEONE BRING FOOD TO YOUR LAZY ASS.

$0.17 does not count.

28 notes

"Excuse me? Are you our waiter?"

restaurant-rants:

Actually, the GUY who has been serving you for the past TWO HOURS who is TALL, SKINNY, and HISPANIC has actually tricked you after waiting on you this whole time. It’s really me!!!! IM YOUR SERVER! YOU FOUND ME!

Did you just wake up in the middle of your meal and forget where the fuck you are or something?

37 notes

Reasons I Don’t Like Taking Big Parties

serverslashslave:

Nobody can decide where to sit.

It takes forever to figure out what they want to eat.

When the food comes out, everyone seems to have developed amnesia and has no clue what food goes to whom.

When it’s time to split the bill, it requires an economics degree and thirty minutes.

When I see all the shit I have to clean up once they’ve gone.

Without auto-gratuity, your chances of getting the tip you “deserve” are about the same as your chances of breaking even in Vegas.